THE GARDEN OF EDEN
My baby sees the world as a place much better than it is, or much better than I see it, where a stack of catalogues is like free bread, and a spray of fine pebbles on the driveway is flung by God just for her palate. She gathers and stuffs them into her cheeks like a chipmunk. It must be a good feeling to look around and see all objects as being potentially delicious.
Yesterday she got her finger jammed in the VCR and couldn’t pull it out. She cried in pain, and after I extricated her, there was a small cut on her finger. I felt guilty about not having protected her from experiencing the pain, and even worse about the possiblity that she would now have learned to fear the VCR. But she stopped crying in a second, looked up and smiled, and tried to stick her hand back in immediately.
I wonder if our reasoning abilities prevent us from experimentation. Unreasoning people seem stupid when they try to make or do things that everyone knows will not work, but they are just enjoying the process of experimentation.
I have been feeling queasy all this week, and fear that the crazy Korean sashimi chef, who I insulted years ago by making the accusation that he had served me half-frozen “ikura”, jumped on his chance to poison me last weekend when we met some friends at his restaurant.
I am not well acquainted with the signs of food poisoning, but they sound interchangable with the early symptoms of pregnancy. We had sex what, two months ago maybe, and I was still breast-feeding with no signs of ovulation. Still, it’s possible I suppose. The unlikelyhoods of the universe seem attracted to me.
If pregnancy is all the rage with celebrities, I’ll be like totally in. I’ll be like a dumb trashy pop star.